September 13th, 2002


star trek

i wouldn't last 15 minutes on the starship enterprise. i mean, troi is bad enough, but having troi and guinan on the same ship?
guinan is by far the more annoying of the two, but she also has a real job, and seems therefore to be generally relegated to that one part of the ship. so she would be relatively easy to avoid. troi on the other hand would show up at your door, ask you all kinds of personal questions, and then follow you around everywhere you go until she's satisfied you've had some sort of epiphany. so if you're the brooding sort who has learned to distrust apparent epiphanies, she'll never, ever leave you alone. it would be a living hell.

what are these people even doing on a starship? i mean, if the enterprise were strictly a military vessel, and there was a war on, i guess i could understand. troi would be quite useful in interrogations, and i can see guinan being a very effective minmei-class weapon, with smug, overbearing wisdom taking the place of insipid pop songs (though you'd think that would be prohibited in any galactic equivalent of the geneva convention). but from all the star trek i've watched, all the biggest threats seem to spring from the ship's own holodeck (apart from the occasional technical glitch, and there's always something that can have its phase shifted to fix that sorta thing). so as far as i can tell, troi and guinan are on board simply to harass all the real crewmembers for sport, their ultimate goal being to make as many people cry as possible. and starfleet apparently approves of this wholeheartedly.

god. what a twisted, dystopian future. captain archer never woulda stood for this...
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