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football and facial foliage

Posted on 2006.01.31 at 15:40
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Looking in the mirror last night, I noticed three whiskers in my beard that were black at the ends, and white the rest of the way to the face. I guessed the white portions represented a couple weeks of growth. Extensive forensic analysis indicates they lost their color with approximately 1:26 left in the fourth quarter of the Colts game.

Speaking of facial hair, Matt Hasselbeck's playoff beard is pathetic. Really, I'd be surprised if he could win a high school championship with that sad three o'clock shadow. This makes Seattle's accomplishments all the more impressive (far be it from me to disrespect the Seahawks).

Stupidest Super Bowl storyline: How will (insert team/player here) respond to all the media pressure?

"Hey Ben, how are you handling the media pressure? Is it getting to you yet? What about now? How do you think you'll be handling the media pressure after I've asked you five more variations on this question?"

At least that's what I thought the stupidest storyline was. But then I read the Post-Gazette's inane "Would the Steelers look tougher in black pants?"

Funniest Super Bowl Storyline: New Yorkers wishing they drafted Ben, because Eli sucks.

Most evil song ever: The Polamalu song. I will not link to it, if you're masochistic enough to seek it out for yourself, I'm sorry. It's like a virus in my brain. I've heard it, I can't unhear it. Some enterprising Steelers fan should drive by the Seahawks' hotel and play the song really loudly, because then it will get into their brains. Once it's there, they won't be able to get rid of it, and it will torment them, distract them, confuse them. Hasselbeck will call a play and all his linemen will hear will be "Pulahmalu..."

Bengals fans are funny too.

Finally I predict that, before he retires, Troy Polamalu will become the first player to record an interception and a sack on the same play. It's a tall order, but if anyone can do it, Troy can.

EDIT: Almost forgot. Seeing Rod Woodson, Hines Ward, and Jerome Bettis together on Total Access: Priceless.


nowishere at 2006-01-31 21:11 (UTC) (Link)
i love the polamalu song! it cracks me up. all the hardcore steelers fans appear to hate it though. why is that?
max1975 at 2006-01-31 21:16 (UTC) (Link)
It's the relentless psychic assault, the way it won't leave you alone, the way it eats away at neurons that would be better used contemplating the Steelers' historic opportunity.

That and the falsetto.
C. Deighan Eaton
thwomp at 2006-02-01 00:35 (UTC) (Link)
I am so sorry that I told you about the Polamalu song! Just now, Jeff grumbled "Pahamalu" and I responded with "It's Polamalu!". It's evil!

Also, I read the entirity of this post to Jeff while he was folding laundry. (God, I love that man.) He laughed the entire time. :)
max1975 at 2006-02-01 03:34 (UTC) (Link)
I am so sorry that I told you about the Polamalu song!

You should be. But I'll forgive you because you're cute and and married to a guy who finds my inane superbowl rambings amusing.
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