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fortressmax

And On The Fifth Day God (being bored) Created...

Posted on 2006.02.02 at 23:58
Current Mood: amusedamused
Tags:


Okay...so you may be aware that Joey Porter talked some trash today. But if you didn't see the entire press conference, you might be under the impression that there were a few soundbites being blown out of proportion by a bored media. But if you did watch the press conference, you saw Cowher talk for about twenty minutes about random things (and Joey Porter), Jerome Bettis talk for about ten minutes about random things (and Joey Porter) and then Joey Porter talk for an entire hour about Jerramy Stevens. I am not exaggerating.

I believe this is the very definition of "Going to Town."

If this whole thing wasn't arranged by Stevens' publicist, Stevens should fire said publicist and hire Joey.

Yesterday, no one outside of Seattle knew who Jerramy Stevens was. Today, everyone in the world knows who he is. He's that dude that Joey Porter hates.

(Okay, so Joey didn't technically say he hates Stevens, but he did say something to the effect of, "This nice little football game has become the Hatred Super Bowl.")

Favorite moment: Joey, illustrating the fact that Stevens is not on his level, extends a hand above his head. "Joey." Then he holds his other hand about waist level. "Jerramy." Then, three seconds later, in case you missed it, he holds his hand up again. "Joey." Waist level: "Jerramy."

I've found Joey's alternate mode for when I draw him as a Transformer:


And just when you thought Joey was done, Joey had more to say. I couldn't believe it, but it was true. Joey actually referred to Jerramy as his huckleberry.

NFL Network's broadcast of the press conference was only an hour and a half long, but I saw no indication that Joey was actually finished talking. Other Steelers were talking to the press too. They actually cut away to Hines for a few seconds, just long enough for him to say, "Talk to Joey."

I hope Joey plays for the Steelers for a long time. But when he retires, someone needs to give him a TV show. It would be like the Dennis Miller show, except without all the jokes and guests and all that crap. Just the rant. For an hour. Needs to be on HBO so there won't be any commercials to interrupt his flow (although, appearing hours later on Total Access, Joey was still talking, and didn't seem to have missed a beat).

This is SO much fun...we should really go to the Super Bowl every year.

Joey.................................Joey
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...... Jerramy.................................Jerramy

Comments:


anukul at 2006-02-03 20:41 (UTC) (Link)
"Dateline, Detroit, home of True Romance! Joey Porter vowed today to hunt down every member of Pittsburgh City Council and eat their babies after he was told that someone in a Council Meeting suggested PAT Transit adjust its schedule to reduce the frequency of late arrivals. Said Porter, “The Bus has always run on time. For them to suggest the Bus is slow, especially something like that coming from them… well, let me just thank you guys for telling me about it. Now they're gonna have to face me. I'm gonna be looking across the meeting table from them and I'll remind them that it's only a dollar to ride the Bus every time I knock them on their backs.” This just in – the Steelers team doctor has suggested a switch to decaf starting Monday."

Scott Paulsen's Spitchokenpuke.
max
max1975 at 2006-02-03 23:17 (UTC) (Link)
"I now dislike them."
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